When was the last time you asked, "Where did the time go?"
Each day, 1,440 minutes go by; only later can we ask ourselves if we used them well, managed them poorly, or should have done something different. Asking where the time went won't make you more productive tomorrow. If you want to get more done, change the question you ask.
You can't change what you did, but you can choose what to do next.
Would you like to consider a thought experiment? Here goes: After you finish reading this self-coaching article, your focus will go somewhere. As your coach, I wonder two things: (1) how do you decide what to do next, and (2) how long do you stay focused on it? If you'd like to test the power of these two questions, go ahead and reflect on your day so far today. Go back to when you first woke up, and think about each thing you started...and how long you spent doing it.
In my work with clients over the past two decades, I have found that time and time again, people miss the importance of staying focused during their "next." How many "nexts" do you have in a day? That is, how many things do you start, and how long do you spend before you start the next one? One of the critical productivity hacks that I teach people is to stay longer in the next thing. Many times, focusing for just a bit more time has a significant impact.
"How much longer do I have to stay in my next?"
That is an excellent - and wise - question. My first response will be, "it depends." But, I will follow it with some of the best advice I give those I serve: Stay in it for another 3 minutes. That's it. After you think you're doing something and are about to go on, set a timer for 3 minutes and review, rethink, reflect on it. If you do this two or three times a day, you just might find you fix something, make something better, or decide to do something differently.
Here are specific things you can do to test this tactic:
After you type an email, set a timer for three minutes. Reread, edit, rewrite or add something to that email to make it even easier for the recipient to know what you need them to do, what you need them to know.
After you end a meeting, spend three minutes (close your eyes?) and review what you said, what you thought, what you feel. Then, capture a follow-on action into your to-do list system before going on to the next thing.
Right before you walk into your house tonight (or, leave your home office and walk into the living room if you're working from home!), spend three minutes focusing on what you want to have happen when you see those people you live with and love with.
Change your focus today, and be more productive tomorrow.
I’m concerned about something I’m hearing a lot more from my peers, my friends, and my coaching clients. In an almost habitual way, some people around me are bypassing “reality” and leaping forward, toward a future I’m afraid will surprise some of them. Or worse, does not turn out the way they’d assumed.
Raise your hand if you’ve said ANYthing like the following over the past couple of months:
“I can’t wait until things get back to normal."
“I wish we could hurry up and get back to meeting in person."
“When can we just go back to our regular lives?"
“If we could do this [whatever ‘this’ is] in person, it would be so much [fill in the blank: easier, better, more, etc]."
Now really, if you’ve said something like the above I want to sit down (most likely across the Zoom screen!) and share a conversation with you. The first thing I’d do is give you short responses (my opinion, of course!) to each of those four sentences above. Here they are:
They’re not going to, ever.
Be VERY careful what you wish for.
We’re not going to, ever.
Be VERY careful what you think about that.
Not even a year ago, I read the book “The Art of Gathering” and felt my life literally shake beneath my feet. I’ve re-read that book [I do practice speed reading, even made a course if you wanna take it!] 4 more times since then. Every time, I walk away with two thoughts:
How we meet and why it matters…matters.
Ms. Parker wrote this book before the pandemic!
Now, if you don’t have time to read an entire book, just do an Internet search for some of her videos and podcasts. In a half-hour or so, I can “almost” promise you’ll get an idea or two. Whether you listen to hear ideas or make your own, I have a couple of challenges for us all to take on over the next 6 months or so. Here they are:
First, reflect deeply on the life you had “before” the pandemic. What parts of that were hard? Off course? Good? In line with your dreams? Over the next 6 months we’re going to be tested. Restrictions will soften, opportunities will increase, and we’ll have the chance to do more of the “things” that make life worth living. Be VERY careful about going backwards…now is the time to leap forward.
Second, make it matter. Make every meeting, every date with your significant other, every parent-child outing, every long run, yoga class, carpool to work, and flight for vacation, worthwhile. What does that mean? What does that mean to you? What does that mean to me?
I have a philosophy, and it’s pretty simple. It shows up in two sentences: (1) Every good thing has happened to me because of the people I’m surrounded by, (2) I am one awkward eye contact glance away from a new best friend. So, when we do get back to meeting in person, I’m going to do a LOT more looking around, making eye contact and looking for that connection, that spark between us. Will I find it every time? No. Do I anticipate finding it more than before? Absolutely.
And, third, reflect deeply on what you want. Want you want to be. What you want to have. What you want to do. The future is heading our way. Or, we are stepping into the future. Either way, we’re going to look in the mirror in a few months, I want us all to look at ourselves and ask: “Is what I’m about to do today worth it?"
When I’m concerned, I like to talk with people. My hope is that by sharing my concerns with you here you’ve been sparked to share YOUR concerns. Sit down with a friend, or send me an email. Let’s keep talking about this stuff!
Are you in a position to help someone “see an unclear future?” If so, this article in HBR could be one you print out and study… here’s an excerpt:
If Your Future Is Blurry, Focus on the Good Work Employees Are Doing Now
These are uncertain times. As a leader, the people around you are watching you. Today, be sure to pause as you walk by a window or mirror. Catch your reflection...THAT is what they see!
Maybe their job duties are changing, or it might not be 100% clear how each person on the team contributes to the overall strategic vision what what you’re getting after.
If people show up to work every day to a to-do list that never ends, to a job that always needs to be done better, with a goal that “may or may not be theirs,” it can be uncomfortable...even disheartening.
Help the people you lead, but focusing on ONE thing: Doing their job to the best of their ability. Double-down on that approach by finding ways to acknowledge them for their commitment, not just their output. [For more on that, see the work by Carol Dweck on “Mindset;” start with her TED Talk.]
Though people may not know what their future holds, they do know what their responsibilities are. And, you’ll offer them opportunities to train up, to learn, to perform, and to succeed.
Here are THREE things you can do today:
1. Share the DIRECTION you’re going in with your team, even if the destination is blurry.
2. Cultivate an atmosphere of open communication, which can create emotional steadiness.
3. Share new information - as you can - about what’s going on.
Oh, and remember to reflect on AND use the work by researcher/storyteller Brené Brown: Lead from your heart, be vulnerable, and expect the best from people. Let them know they can be honest about their emotions, and be honest about yours as well.
The people around you are watching you, remember to let them see you as a calm and focused leader... and avoid unhelpful stress-driven responses.
5 Retired Generals Psychology/Sociology of Leading 2019 / 193 Pages
Table of Contents/Organization
Part 1 - Commitment Part 2 - Courage Part 3 - Competence Part 4 - Compassion Part 5 - Character
Stand-Out Lines
Page 31: "Committed leaders pledge themselves to the tasks at hand every day." Page 54: "...your organization must view you as someone unfazed by precarious situations." Page 82: "I sought out senior pilots and tacticians in the squadron who were willing to spend time with me so I could learn from their experiences." Page 131: "Compassionate leaders recognize that everyone struggles with life at one time or another, then they do all they can to assist." Page 177: "Leaders with character stand up for their team members."
My Opinion
A book to be read by those wondering, "What's it like to go to sleep at night knowing that thousands of people know you're their leader?" So, grab a pen, get comfortable, open your notebook, and maybe even pour a favorite (morning OR evening) beverage. Then, settle in for story time.
5 retired General Officers, 5 thematic chapters, and 5 stories each...we all know we can learn through the experience of others, and these men make it easier than ever. In fact, if you're reading this book, I recommend you START by skipping to the end of each chapter to review the bullet points that conclude each story. Put the book down - maybe for a week or two - and then come back after you've had a chance to think about the main points of each chapter. After this reflection, read their stories. Ask yourself, "What do these stories mean to ME? How do these kinds of situations appear or play out in MY life?"
My recommendation (based on what I know now having read this book) is to pick one GO at a time and read his stories chapter by chapter. I, of course, have some favorite stories of my own from this book, but I'll leave it to you to go and find yours.
Good morning, from Montgomery, Alabama.
I awoke this morning to a note from a friend who let me know that this Typepad blog had been hacked somehow, that a post was uploaded without my knowledge.
As you can see, I've moved a LOT of writing and ideas over to the blog at www.LeadersGetMomentum.com
Please do tune in there, as THAT'S where I'll be curating and sharing more ideas on the books, workshops, and coaching that's all designed to help you succeed.
When you think about the future, what comes to mind? Do you start with work and go to life? Do you start with family and then go to career?
Can you imagine your work/life a year from now?
Can you "image-in" experiences you hope are on the way and (perhaps) even plausible surprises that could show up? This is NOT "wishful" thinking. It's your chance to direct your thoughts and energy toward what will change your future.
There's a secret to getting (more of) what you want from your life and your work.
It's not a secret because it's hard to learn or because no one wants you to know it. It is a secret because you just haven't heard it put this way before. If you want your life to be different, there's just one thing you need to do:
Organize Your Contacts
In just a moment, I'll coach you to arrange the group of 10-25 people you talk with the most into three distinct categories.
(If you just can't wait, and want to see the video, just click here.)
No one person is enough for you to build a future that's bigger and better than the present. Look around, there are people you spend time with today that you didn't know 5 years ago. Your life looks what it looks like today BECAUSE OF the people you spend more (or less) time with.
Your network (in person, online AND in print) is there to inform, influence and support you as you engage in the actions required to make progress on your goals big and small. The people you spend time with, the communities you're a part of on the Internet and the books you read and magazines you subscribe to will all come together for you if...
...IF you know where you're heading!
To get you started, open your notebook and do some visionary writing. Here are my favorite THREE prompts that I use in my coaching with executives, leaders and managers worldwide...
60 months from today...
Open to a blank page of your notebook, set a timer for 15 minutes (here), and respond to this prompt by writing 500-700 words:
"Over the next 5 years, in my roles as _______, ________, and _______ I want to be known for ..."
I challenge you to go year-by-year as you do this:
2019
2020
2021
2022
2023
Think about your work, your life, your community, your family and - of course - your age.
Write, and Write, and WRITE some more!
52 weeks from today...
For this next exercise, I suggest you use 12-24 note cards (the 3X5 ones you used in college!). One note card for every 2-4 weeks over the next year. (Oh, this one might take a. little longer. Set a timer for 30 minutes, and make sure you have your CALENDAR handy!)
When I do this, I line up the 24 cards in order of the next year. Then, I "challenge" myself to write down AT LEAST 3 bullet points (ideas, projects, goals, ideas, etc) on EVERY card.
Here's the prompt you can use:
What do I ALREADY know is on the way that I'd like to spend ENOUGH time thinking about, working toward or managing with grace and ease?
Over the next 48 hours...
No matter what day you're reading this (or watching the video at the bottom of this post), you're going to be doing something, somewhere, spending time with SOMEone within a couple of days.
Here's your challenge (in just 3 steps):
Open your calendar and review your time hour-by-hour over the next two days.
Make a list of EVERYONE you know you're going to talk or meet with.
Next to their name, write down ONE thing you could discuss.
As you're getting ready to take on your next project or step toward a promotion or begin making a work / life change, think about how you can think in those terms. Once you've done the thinking about TIME, now it's time to think about PEOPLE.
THREE kinds of people to share dreams with today
1. The Realist
As you'll see in the video below, my friends who are realists are there to find the holes in my theories and to test my resolve. I go to them when I need a project edited, or if I want to know what OTHER realists (who I haven't worked with or met yet) might think about my crazy idea.
The question they ask, “And...do you think you can really do that?”
2. The Visionary
I smile as I write this, "My visionaries are the people who can easily "add a zero" to my thinking. If I tell them I'd like to write a 1,500 word article, they ask me if it could be a 15,000 word booklet. If I share a goal to speak at a conference with 50 people, they challenge me to apply to speak at one with 500. If I plan to enroll another 100 members into the GET MOMENTUM Leadership Academy...you get it.
The question they ask, “And...Have you thought about...?”
3. The Accountability Buddy
Have you ever told someone you'd meet them at the gym? Have you ever asked someone to edit a paper or slide deck you are building? Have you invited someone to enroll in a course or program (like GET MOMENTUM!) with you? If so, you intuitively understand the value of having someone to hold you accountable.
The question they ask, “And... what are you going to do next about that?”
Think about it: The next 60 months are going to go by in a flash. Not convinced? Write down the year 2013 and ask yourself, "How fast have the past 5 years gone?" In order to get to where you're going, find the three kinds of people to share your dreams with and you'll go further. Ready?
A VIDEO
More than 100 College Seniors heard about the three kinds of people to share their goals with. If you know of someone who could benefit from thinking this way, please do share this with them!
As you watch that video, leave a comment with YOUR ah-ha or I'm gonna. I'll check those comments from time to time and add any coaching I can!
Sometime between 11am and 2pm everybody you work with is going to leave the desk for a meal. Whether they go to a fridge and get the lunch they brought or they leave the office for 30-60 minutes...
For the next 6 months or so, make it your goal is to lunch with someone once every two weeks. You see, what you're doing 60 months from now - where you work, how much money you have in your savings account, what vacations you take, restaurants you eat in, movies you see, books you ready...just about EVERYthing will in some part be influenced by who you talk with more (or less!).
GET STARTED
Open your calendar and review the past 2 months. Identify the lunches you met a coworker, a mentor or a friend. For each lunch (aka: person), answer the following questions:
What did we talk about?
What did I complain about?
What ideas did we discuss?
What did I learn? (About them, about myself...etc)
Notice ALL those questions start with WHAT. You can easily make notes of these answers in your journal, just make sure that over the NEXT few months you continue to review ALL your journal entries looking for patterns, plusses and minuses.
Want to change what you have?
Change what you talk about!
NEXT STEPS
Once you’ve done that work, Re-view your calendar for the NEXT 2 months.
Identify 4 days (a day every two weeks) you could meet someone for a mid-day meal.
Next, build a list of 5-10 people you COULD invite to lunch. (Not everyone will be able to meet on this time-table).
THEN, for each person on that list (maybe on separate pages in your notebook, or even a set of Note Cards!) start collecting:
Some questions you’d like to ask them.
Advice you’re willing to hear from them.
An idea you’d like to ask for help thinking through some more.
A story you’d like them to tell you.
The good news...everyone's gonna eat! Just make sure that you're not ALWAYS eating alone!
Hey, for a deeper-dive into building meaningful relationships, here's a great blog post on "The Network and My Future."
In 19 years of coaching, I’ve yet to met a “successful” person who does think they schools be able to get 98 or 102 or 110 blocks worth out of a day.
Problem is, you can’t.
96.
That’s it.
Want a fun exercise?
See them.
Go buy 3x5 note cards.
A 100 pack.
Open the pack, and put 4 of them on the other side of the room.
Leaves you with 96.
Next, open your calendar.
Flip forward. Find a day, 30+ days away from today and ask yourself, “How would those 24 hours unfold, if they were ideal?”
Then, one 15-minute block at a time, start stacking the cards.
How many hours for rest? (Not what time/when?)
How many minutes for serendipitous conversation? (Not when &with whom?)
How much time for you?
When will you eat?
Be with clients?
Think?
Work?
You get it. Now, you don’t put TIME of DAY on the cards, you just make stacks of 1 to X number of cards. (Eg. when I do this, I generally start with 28 cards for sleep, 4 cards for exercise, 2 cards for reading, 1 card for “writing a thank you card.” NOTE: that’s already 35/96 cards. Or... 36% of my day!)
If your time is your most valuable and least available resource, how aware of how you’re using it are you?
If you wish to become significantly better, you can.
You could be better at what you do for a living and how you’re living your life. With effort, you could earn 10% to 50% (ore more) more income each year.
You could have a better relationship with your partner and your children (and your parents, and your friends, and your coworkers).
You could live healthier, and perhaps longer, if you want to.
You can have and do and be more of who you are if - and this is important - you’re willing to do just Three Things Differently.
Three. Not just one; and, not 37. Just three. That’s the good AND the bad news all together. Your job, with guidance from your mentors and coaches, is to identify those three things. And do them.
Every day. Or, all the time.
Want help? Raise your hand, let people know what you want to get better at. And, when someone offers to help stop and listen. And do. And report back.
Have you heard someone say that lately? Or, have you said it to someone you work or live with? Talking about your goals - out loud, and with the right people - is a sure way to save time, relieve stress and be more productive. You might even save some money as well!
Look around your office, review your calendar and double-check your to-do list sometime today. Make TWO lists in your notebook:
one list of projects you're managing, and
one list of ideas you're still thinking about (but haven't committed to doing or decided not to do...yet).
WHAT TO WRITE ON EACH LIST
The list of projects includes events you're participating in, client or vendor agreements you're managing and matters you're involved in. For many people, this list will be 25-100 items long. There's no "right number" of projects you have going on; the most important thing, though, is that you know what they are.
The list of "things to think about" includes the back-burner projects or "might-get-to-ideas" that you are not working on in the next 12 months. Again, there isn't a right number here; but, many of the clients I coach have made lists of more than 200 items! The number isn't important, but I will tell you what is CRITICAL if you're going to succeed at work and at home:
CHECKING IN WITH YOUR TEAM
You've got to be on the exact same page with your colleagues at work about what you are and are NOT working on. And it may be even more important do this at home. For example, what house project are you NOT going to take on? What vacation are you NOT going to plan? What youth program are you NOT going to send the kids to? Once you know what you're NOT going to do -for now, not forever - you get to double down with your resources (time, energy, focus and money) on what you said yes to.
You also create clarity.
When you are - or someone you work with is - confused about which priority is a higher priority, and which "less-important" task can wait until later, the entire workflow system is compromised. Whether you are a leader in a large organization or manager in a small one, you must have these kinds of goal-setting conversations regularly.
DON’T DROP THE BALL
Most likely you've experienced the inefficiency and ineffectiveness of having to work overtime, or (what could be worse!) you had to ask for an extension at the last minute. You pay a significant price when you over commit or under deliver. Whether you mean to or not, when something doesn't get done, trust is damaged. Then you spend extra time, money and effort to rebuild the relationship.
At work, this can jeopardize relationships with team members or clients. At home, you may have to retrace your steps, rebuild a relationship and reestablish trust with those you live with and love.
TRY THIS
Right now, ask yourself this question (and, considering brainstorming your answers in your notebook):
"Where is there ambiguity and unclear direction?"
If you ask yourself this question and really listen to the answer, SOMEthing valuable will show up.
MANAGING PROJECTS
Years ago, I hired a small company to build a new website for our new company. We were a few weeks into a 6-month project, and I had this sense that something was off. That weekend, I talked with my partner, and on Monday morning I sent an email with the subject line:
"Let's talk about both kinds of goals"
The 30-minute conversation that week went smoothly. We made a list of the projects to manage, and ANOTHER list of possible things to discuss at later phases of the project (6 and 12 months after publishing the site).
Looking back, I figure that meeting saved me dozens of hours, and probably a few thousand dollars of "scope-creep" and "project changes" over the next few months. By framing the meeting in a way that would help us all see what needed to be done, we experienced less pressure and more productivity than before. Oh, and the best part of it? We wound up finishing in just five months!
That wasn't the first time I'd had this kind of conversation. And, I often meet with my clients, my vendors and even my wife to talk about the types of goals we manage. In fact, I'd been practicing talking about types of goals for almost two decades.
BUILD YOUR LIST
If you'd like to explore the differences - both in life and at work - journal your responses to questions like: "What am I working on? What am I working toward? What am I working for?" These questions help identify which goals you’re managing and ideas you’re considering.
A project is something you've committed to; it's something you'll submit, finalize, sign-off or move on from something. Projects have deadlines. It might be a report you'll present at the end of the month, or it could be a new line of business you'll launch next year. Either way, at some point you'll be done with it, and get to check it off your list!
Your second list is a full of ideas that you’re managing, which is equally important to the project list. Your innovations come from giving yourself the freedom to think without committing to every through that passes through your mind! Separating these ideas from actual projects keeps you focused and clear.
START TODAY
Go! Open your journal and identify the two kinds of goals you can set starting today. And, remember to ask for help along the way!
