Link: Dean Karnazes Interview
"You can't be afraid to fail, and that's hard, but unless you fail, you never push hard enough, so I think if you look at successful people, and happy people, they fail a lot because they're constantly trying to go further and expand."
In conversation with a reporter last week, discussing the new year, and he wrote to me asking:
The question is: what do you do to get the reluctant worker/wife/child in line with your goals for the new year?
Allow me to start by OVERstating the importance of regular, honest, meaning-making conversations. I have seen too many times that people avoid talking about semi-important things for too long, and then try and "get on the same page" by having the whopper conversation, whereby the talk about everything "big" going on during one discussion. Break the topics apart. Pick big things to discuss when you are fresh and less-stressed. Choose to talk about the little things as they appear, not when they get out of hand...
I believe three things come into play here: Inspiration. Motivation. Information.
(I think it would be most appropriate to speak in "generalities," as what I'd recommend for each of the three groups [worker/spouse/child] might be different as per each case and/or scenario.)
Inspiration.
To inspire means to pull from the inside.
I've always considered inspiring someone to be on the difficult side of the goal setting spectrum. I mean, how many times have you walked in to give someone a "pep talk," gave them lots of reasons to get engaged, but walked out and had a feeling that little (if anything) would change?
That's because, I believe, someone who is "inspired" has something deep inside that gets them going. Here's a way to get to know inspiration: think of someone who you believe is inspired. You know they have a goal, a reason, a "thing to do." Invite them to coffee (or tea, or lunch, or to for a walk, or a bike ride, you get the point). Then, sometime during the time you're together, ask them something like this:
"How did you find out that you were going to be involved in __________________?" Really listen, and ask questions to dig deep into their reasons. Each time I've done this, I've learned a lot (and sometimes a LOT) about the person I am speaking with.
Motivation.
To motivate means to encourage from the outside.
Ok, so when I talk to someone about what I do ("I work with people as they enhance their performance, addressing specific issues that impede a Quality Life."), they usually say, "Oh you're a motivational speaker!"
For a while, I used to say "No, no I'm not a motivator, there are other people who do that. I'm an educator!" Now-a-days, I understand more completely what people are looking for when they say I'm a "motivational" speaker. Instead of making them wrong (telling them I don't do that), I simply add to the conversation. When I'm working (speaking, coaching or writing) I'm looking for ways to bring experiences and education to the client in a way that gives them a reason to act.
Information.
To inform means to slowly change the ideas and pre-conceptions of what's going on.
Both inspiration and motivation will go a long way if and when coupled with the appropriate information. Years ago, I attended a seminar delivered by Lou Tice, of the Pacific Institute. One of the mornings of the seminar, we entered the ballroom to find that there was a multi-pack CD insert placed on each one of our seats. Yes, Lou had recorded several "mini-lectures" and gave them to us as part of the package of materials.
I found that the more I listen to those CDs the more inspired and motivated I am. Inspired to continue going after the source of my interests and actions. Motivated to identify guidelines and goal-lines to continue moving along through the process.
I don't know "exactly" how to get others to align with "my" goals, but I do trust that if I can find ways and means to do the above three things, we'll go a lot further together!
Jason I really enjoy reading your website. It keeps me motivated and inspirated to stay with my goals for 2007. Thank you.
Amanda
http://thetimemastery.com
Posted by: Amanda | February 21, 2007 at 01:25 PM