Hey, you, it’s 2015. I know that may be obvious to you, but for a moment let that thought roll around your brain. Recently someone referred to “10 years ago) and I realized my thought was, “Oh, back in the 1990s." Then, I had to do a double-take.
11 years ago was 2004
When you go to “rewind and review" mode, what comes to your mind? Knowing a bit about how the psyche works, I know there’s a fight - at least a tennis match - that occurs mentally. The binary choice is between:
Remembering the wins, the good times, the successes.
Remembering the losses, the bad times, the failures.
Now, you tell me: Which ones come to your mind first? You know the saying that Tony Robbins drilled in to our minds in his tape program 20 years ago, right? (I can’t believe it’s been 20 years since I first listened to one of his programs; he was known as Anthony Robbins at the time!)
“We move toward pleasure, and away from pain."
Listen, Robbins was NOT the first person to say that, nor will he be the last. Look at anyone living. Or dying, if you have someone in your life fighting right now. They are looking to get better; feel better; be better.
We SHOULD study our failure.
There’s SO much information in our failures, it’s amazing. Before I share with you the three things to think about when you consider failure, let’s take a look at what failure provides.
Failure means:
- We stepped in to the unknown.
- We attempted something bigger.
- We were focused on something new.
- We believed it was possible to get there.
What would YOU say #5 is? Leave it in the comment area below; I’m going to pick one commenter and provide you with a 7-day membership with full access to the HABITS theme at Get Momentum.
What can we learn from failure?
There are three things that we can learn from our failures. When we can look back on what happened and realize that by taking that step toward what we didn’t know how to do, we put ourselves in a position to grow, and go further…faster. You’re the kind of person who wants this, believe me...
When you look back on the last decade or so, what do you remember the most? Was it something you wanted to do, but didn’t? What about a goal you worked on, but didn’t turn out like you’d hoped it would?
If you DON’T achieve what you set out to accomplish, do you call it:
Failure… ?
Before we go much further, let’s take a look at what the dictionary says “Failure” is:
lack of success; the omission of expected or required action; a lack or deficiency of a desirable quality
For a moment, I want you to take on the feeling you had when you experienced something that you feel was a failure. For a moment, let that roll around your mind, and your body. What comes up for you? Is it chronic and lasting? Sharp and acute? Can you see it in your minds’ eye, or hear the conversation going on? Personally, the one I am focused on right now is all-encompassing. I can literally feel myself balled up in a confused state of discomfort and loss...
Now, with that feeling of experience right there, let’s look at the three things that we learn from failure:
1. Lack Success
Success, such a subjective term. When you pull to mind that failure you experienced - at least for me and the one I’m thinking of - it is a matter of what you wanted NOT matching the experience you got. Hmmmm, what an interesting position to be in. You know, I’ve seen more people spend SO MUCH time explaining that they didn’t get what they wanted, and how they really wanted it. They avoid discussing what they really SHOULD be talking about…how they were not (1) educated, (2) informed, (3) equipped, or (4) persistent enough to get it.
“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”
- Bruce Lee
In my book, Your Best Just Got Better, I share a story that BJ Bedford Miller told me about her making the United States Olympic Swim Team (after “failing” at the Olympic Trials twice!). When I asked her for some of her “secrets” to success, the two she gave me were: Stay Focused, Do the Work Necessary. If you only read once chapter of that book, start with Chapter 4. That chapter is written, and the activities are designed, to give you the step-by-step experience you need to stay focused on what you need and take advantage of the next two lessons in failure.
2. Omit the Required Action
Who are you? You’re a leader. You own a small business. You’re a parent. You serve the community. You influence others. You’re you...
Then, one day you wake up and realize it’s not enough. You want more. You want to BE, and DO, and HAVE more. But, you’ll have to recognize that the effort you’ve made to get you HERE is not equal to the work it’s going to take to get THERE. Where is your there? More responsibility? More employees and customers? More, better student-athlete? More community involvement? You get the point…more is more.
“Apply what you know: Just knowing is not enough, you must apply; willing is not enough, you must do. Test your self all the time.”
- Bruce Lee
I’ve stopped reading the “quick tips” articles that abound on the internet. I don’t need another 4 ways to do this, 7 things to have to get that, 3 factors to avoid if… you get the point. I already know what I need to do, the biggest decision I have to make is whether I will STOP doing some of the things that get in my way of doing what I need to do. Oh by, that’s a big decision to make...
3. Lack a Desired Quality
When you’re moving toward a new level - a new position professionally, a new circle socially, a new experience emotionally - you’re going to have to check (and test) your qualities. I’ve seen some of the most determined and “hard-headed” people you’ll ever meet. And, I can usually tell you within a few minutes of talking with them if they’re going to “make it” or not. Now, of course “making it” is completely an opinion I have made up that may or may not have any value to add to their experience…but, here’s how Bruce Lee put it:
“Be flexible in your approach, learn from everybody and everything, don’t get locked in a particular style.”
What you have, who you are, what you do, where you go, when you experience joy, how you live over the next 60 months is going to come down to the 5 or so people you’ll spend time with. Look, you want to change your life? Change who you spend time with. You want to find new work to earn an income? Find people who have the kinds of experiences at their work that you would be interested in having?
Careful, don’t just try and find someone with a “JOB” you recognize, that’s rookie.
Want to know how I do it? I’ll email you one of my tactics, just send me a note via the contact page at Get Momentum…just click here.
Failure…it’s the experience you get to tap the “reset” button and go at it anew. If you can dream it - said Napoleon Hill - you can achieve it. Just remember to be yourself, to do the work necessary, and to always - ALWAYS - strive to be better.
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